Girl who fears....

I should be a better person than this. I shouldn't secretly want him to myself. He's a genius, a prodigy...and I'm evil, selfish, horrible. When we met I had almost died. He said, "I'll be the stregth you lost."

He's given me everything. Hope, understanding, respect, loyalty, commitment. He loves me just as I am.

He loves me Just As I Am......

But it wont always be like this. It can't be. I've seen what fame can do. I've been down this road before. But he has a gift. People make demands of him. And sacrifices will be made. I already feel it. I'm a horrible person for being scared. I should only feel joy. "I'm doing this for US." He says.

He's different than the others. Then all who've come before him. He's honest.

I love him more than I have loved anyone all the days of my life.He came into my life when I felt like I was suffocating; lifeless, breathless....drowning. He brought me joy and sunshine and happiness when my days had been filled with gray skies for so long. He was so much of what I was not and yet so much of what I was. , and I felt like every single time I looked into his eyes every fiber of my body wanted to melt into his. He was not perfect, I was not anywhere near perfect, but we were perfect for each other. And perfect for each other is all anybody can ask for in a world where nothing makes sense and everyone is just trying to carve out a little piece of happiness for themselves.

He can't be all mine forever. I have to share him. Not with another woman. He would never ask that.

I don't want to share him. I'm ashamed. But I know what can happen. I will be the sacrifice. I'm a horrible person. I've already lost so much.

But.... he loves me just as I am.

I will love him just as he is. I will love him and be here. I will love him when he goes on tour. I will love him when we've been apart for weeks or months if necessary. I will love him when 19 year old girls named Monique are whispering in his ear that they can do things I've probably never heard of. I will love him when it feels like everyone in the world is getting a peice of him but me. I will love him because it's all I know how to do.

But between you and me, I'm an awful person. And I'm scared.